Back in November, I discussed a growing problem in RuneScape: Gambling. The introduction of dice brought with it an underground casino-style ring of players setting up shop by the Grand Exchange (RuneScape auction house) and betting on dice rolls. In order to combat the in-game street dice, Jagex removed the item entirely, at the same time making way for the less popular gambling techniques to fight for control of the market. Enter horsing:

Hi Chris, a year ago you treated me for my gambling problem. I'd just like to say a massive thanks as I've not even been close to gambling since. Just say Neigh'.

Toy horses were introduced by Jagex way back in 2004 on April Fool’s Day joke, as a gag item for players who had asked for horse mounts. The horses can be played with, where they broadcast one of three phrases randomly. In its use in gambling, a player would offer his wager (trade money or items to the house) and place a bet one which one of the three phrases would appear. Then the house would activate the horse, and the player would win or lose depending on what the horse said. As with the dicing, this carried the risk of the house simply walking away with your money, regardless of whether you won or lost.

In a hotfix today, Jagex removed all three of the horse’s phrases, replacing it with one: “Just say neigh to gambling!” On the forums, Mod Emilee posted to announce the change, reminding players that gambling is not supported by Jagex. Players should be alert for scams, especially in a game like RuneScape where Jagex does not return any coins/items stolen even if the scam artist is found guilty and banned.

1. Just Say Neigh To Gambling join. Some require the coupon code (which is provided in our table) to be entered during the registration or log-in process: for instance, in Real Time Gaming (RTG) casinos, you will need to provide your coupon code after Just Say Neigh To Gambling you have signed up and logged in.
2. We don’t speak openly of gambling because, as far as sins go, it’s right up there with gluttony and coveting your neighbour’s ass. I have never shied away from things that might consign me to eternal damnation because they are usually the most fun. Besides, I have survived many Durban summers. Hell will be a piece of cake.
3. Jagex updated the horse by changing them to say 'just say neigh to gambling' to prevent people from playing the horse game.

Still, this doesn’t stop the multiple other gambling methods in RuneScape:

1. Flower Game: This uses Mithril seeds. The seeds are planted by a player, and grow into a random color. The gambler places a bet on which color he thinks will sprout.
2. Dungeoneering Cape: The dungeoneering cape, which can be bought by players at 99 dungeoneering, selects one of three emotes randomly. The gambler bets on which emote will appear. Unlike the other gambling methods, this can be rigged to produce a specific outcome every time. This is also far less prevalent, as it requires over thirteen million experience in Dungeoneering to obtain the cape.
3. Seal Emote: The “Seal of Approval” emote from RuneScape’s Christmas events. When used, the player turns into a seal with a backpack displaying a random number between 1 and 6. The gambler bets on which number will appear.
4. Christmas Wand: I may be completely off on this, but this one appears to be based on the holiday item. Using it on another player throws either a Christmas pudding, a bauble, or a snowball, randomly. The player bets on which will be thrown.
5. Classic Cape: In this method, the Classic Cape generates one of three emotes, and the gambler bets on which one will appear. This is much less prevalent, because the cape can only be obtained by players who have access to RuneScape Classic. In 2005, Classic shut down to new accounts. Since then, Jagex had opened the game up to new players on multiple occasions, with the last event in September last year to be the last ever. Now Classic is only accessible by those who had played it at one point.

These are just the gambling methods I discovered after about fifteen minutes of searching, so no doubt more exist. Jagex is going to have a long fight on their hands to get rid of every easy form of gambling available to players.

(Source: RuneScape forums)

(From MMO Fallout:

Your toucan called and it wants its feathers back. Picture: Chris CrerarSource:News Limited

THE Melbourne Cup is a great Australian event. But beware! There are plenty of people who can ruin the day.

Here's our form guide to the 24 people you really need to ignore on Cup Day.

NEIGH SAYERS
There is nothing worse than people who walk around all day saying they hate horse racing and tweeting trite one-liners about midgets whipping horses. Have some fun.

MILLINERS
Hat-makers to you or I, a milliner is a person spends their day putting feathers in a nest of straw. Birds call this 'nest making' but milliners inexplicably call it high fashion.

Melbourne CupSource:News Limited

PEOPLE WHO WEAR MILLINERS’ SILLY HATS
It is actually possible to wear a stylish hat that doesn't look like an ostrich wrestling a peacock. Sadly, most women fail to heed this simple advice.

SWEEP AVOIDERS
If anyone in your office is too busy or self-important to put $2 into the office sweep, put laxatives in their coffee.

THE RESERVE BANK BOARD
Whatever they're doing to interest rates, could it wait a week? No one cares about their mortgage when they're about to bet half of it.

BOOKIES
Thieving, conniving bastards, the lot of 'em. Especially the one who talks about his Mummy every time he opens his mouth. You know who we mean.

Tom WaterhouseSource:News Limited

PEOPLE WHO CALL WOMEN 'FILLIES'
After all that’s been said lately about misogyny and sexism, we're still not sure how to define those words precisely. But calling women 'fillies' probably comes close.

GAMBLING ILLITERATES
'Um, so if I put a dollar each way on the trifecta, how much will that pay?' If anyone asks you this, hit them.

GAMBLING KNOW-IT-ALLS
Be equally scornful towards anyone who urges you to 'box six horses in the first four and anchor the favourite in the second leg of the quaddie'.

CELEBRITY TIPSTERS
Nobody cares what horse Emily Symons likes. In fact, nobody cares about Emily Symons full stop. Come to mention it, who is Emily Symons?

CelebritiesSource:News Limited

'EXPERT' TIPSTERS
In this worrying economic climate, they're the only people apart from weathermen and politicians who can get everything wrong and still have a job tomorrow.

HORSE TRAINERS
After the race, the winning the trainer always says 'my horse was going beautifully at trackwork this week'. Would it kill them to tell us that before the race?

Just Say Neigh To Gambling Meaning

PEOPLE WHO WRITE FORM GUIDES
They use a strange hieroglyph which is meaningless to anyone but scholars of ancient Babylon. Here’s a tip. Just say 'slow horse' or 'fast horse'.

ASTROLOGERS
'Your horse will have a winning aura, colourful colours and a number ending in 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 or 0'. Gee, thanks guys.

ANGRY BOGANS
By the end of the day, two boofheads will always be getting aggressive on the lawn and upsetting everyone else’s picnics. Make 'em muck out the stables, we say.

BrawlersSource:News Limited

SMUG WINNERS
There is nothing worse than once-a-year punters waving their $1 winning ticket in your face declaring themselves to be psychic and/or the world's greatest form analyst.

BIG WINNERS
People who win big are even worse. Unless of course you manage to coax them down the pub and force them to shout you and your mates for the rest of the afternoon.

THE PEOPLE WHO SCHEDULE THE RACE FOR 3PM
Clearly, they don't have to pick their kids up from school, and haven't thought much about those who do.

BARACK OBAMA AND MITT ROMNEY
Apparently they're involved in some race of their own over in America. A bit rude of them to steal the limelight, really.

BOSSES
Victorians may not realise it, but the rest of the country has to work on Cup day. Good bosses can allay this injustice by letting their staff knock off at lunchtime. Uh, Mr Murdoch...?

TV COMMENTATORS
Woohoo, here's a horse race. And now here's 40 minutes of absolute meaningless drivel to fill in the time till the next one.

THE SLOW PERSON AT THE FRONT OF THE TAB QUEUE
There's 10 minutes before the race and you're desperate to whack $50 bucks on the sure-fire winner. Meanwhile, Ethel puts 273 $1 tickets in the machine at glacial speed...

OFFICE SQUEALERS
It's bad enough being forced to watch the race on the tiny TV monitor at work. Even worse when Amber from marketing screams the whole race and you don’t hear a thing.

EVERYONE
Face it. The Melbourne Cup is a big, crazy, noisy day. No matter where you go, it's impossible to see or hear the race properly, and everyone will annoy you. Happy punting!

Just Say Neigh To Gambling

Originally published as24 annoying things about Melbourne Cup Day